Power Step Parenting: Spoiled Leftovers From the Past; Coping with Anger and Bitterness

 

 

 

Learning to forgive is paramount to having a healthy co-parent relationship. A healthy co-parent relationship is for the benefit of your children and yourself.  Tension, animosity, bitterness, and anger impacts the children in many ways.

“Recent research, for example, suggests that a healthy stepfamily can help to diminish behavioral problems in children that arise after parental divorce.” 1

 Your pain is real, and your anger may be completely justified. You can’t be for your stepfamily everything God calls you to be if you’re carrying around a burden of anger and hurt.

Reminder: Colossians 2:13-14 tells us to forgive, just as Christ forgave us. “When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made you[a] alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, 14 having canceled the charge of our legal indebtedness, which stood against us and condemned us; he has taken it away, nailing it to the cross.”

  • Forgiveness begins with a decision.
  • Choose to forgive one offense at a time.
  • Keep on forgiving until the anger and bitterness is gone.
  • Forgiveness doesn’t justify the offense or the offender’s actions.
  • Forgiveness and accountability are not mutually exclusive. We can forgive, but still hold someone accountable for their actions.
  • Forgiveness takes one; trust and reconciliation takes two.
  • Forgiveness removes the “power” of the offender to make you mad, sad, angry, etc. Forgiveness moves us from victim to empowered victor.
  1. Ron L. Deal, The Smart Stepfamily Minnesota, Bloomington MN Bethany House Publishers, 2002