Author and stepparent expert Ron L. Deal, states, By my estimation, this is the most common and one of the most destructive mistakes stepparents make. I’ve established that parental authority develops gradually over time and increases through bonding and the development of a trusting relationship. (If you want to test my assertion, just go to a neighbor’s house and try to punish his children. Just because you live next door doesn’t mean you have any say over those children. You can claim authority, but the level of authority the neighbor or his kids grant you will be much less than what you claim). Susan Gammache calls this “parental status”, that is, the degree that step-family members consider the step-parent a parent to stepchildren. Parents might expect step-children to readily accept discipline from their step-parent, and step-parents might claim to have as much authority as a biological parent, but what really counts is how much authority children will accept from the step-parent. I’ve heard stepdads fall back on scripture and claim that since “I am the man of the house I should have the power of the father” please remember, the children have a father (even if he is deceased); you’re an added authority in their life. If you want to exasperate your stepchildren quickly (see Eph. 6:4), push yourself onto your stepchildren, claiming authority you don’t yet have. Rather, the ability to lead and influence children comes the old-fashioned way – you earn it. Trust, respect, and honor grow out of relational history, and there’s no quick way to establish that. Stepparents must be dedicated to building a relationship over time.
Ron L. Deal, The Smart Stepfamily, (Bloomington, MI: (Bethany House Publishers, 2002)
One thing I regret is that I didn’t invest more time in teaching my kids about the Lord. We had weekly family devotions but I don’t think that was enough. Our culture is anti-God. We need to equip our children on a consistent basis to solidify their faith and build their strong spiritual foundation. Seven Continue reading Power Parenting: Teach Your Kids About Jesus→
Here is a quick test to see if you have a healthy co parent relationship. A healthy relationship between you and your ex spouse has great impact on the health and well being on your children. A healthy co-parent relationship and lower the chances of your child engaging in high risk behaviors.
Many children and parents are still homeschooling their children due to the recent pandemic that has affected us. It can create frustration and anger for both the child and the parent. Here are few simple tips to help you and your child successfully navigate through this season.
A Drill Sargent parent barks out orders, demands absolute obedience, uses punishment as a consequence of children’s mistakes. For them, it is all about control and a power trip. The real world doesn’t operate on punishment but consequences. Children of drill Continue reading Power Parenting: Drill Sargent Parents→
Power Step Parenting- It doesn’t happen overnight! Experts tell us it takes the average stepfamily 5-7 years to integrate sufficiency to experience intimacy and authenticity in a step-family. Here are some stepping stones: 1. Listening– a person sets aside their Continue reading Power Step Parenting: 7 Steps To Success!→
One of the challenges in a step-family is dealing with the biological parents. They are an important part of your stepchild’s life. In this short video, I share my own experience as a stepmom. As tempting as it might be, avoid any negative or derogatory comments about the biological parent. You are not there to Continue reading Power Step Parenting: Respect The Biological Parent→
We as parents all know the frustration of getting a child to go to bed. Power struggles arise and so do our frustrations. All of a sudden, they are thirsty, hungry, or want a million and one demands! Here are some ways using Parenting with Love and Logic can turn bedtime into blissful.
Transformation Radio Show- Parenting With Choices is Brilliant! Think of discipline as a way to guide and teach your child about positive ways to behave. A parenting style that works well is one that uses discipline proactively. The goal is to use techniques that encourage your child’s sense of responsibility, nurture self-esteem, and strengthen your Continue reading Power Parenting: Parenting With Choices is Brilliant→